~Self Improvement - 1 -

 


Anger Management and Kids


Dealing with children who have anger problems is challenging and requires thought and imagination. A child's mind is as a rule not developed sufficiently enough to deal with intense feelings such as anger. Children are not equipped to clarify their feelings. In order to create anger management programs that will help children, the individual needs to recognize how a child's mind works, as well as what interests them and use this knowledge to develop an effective anger management program for children


Children are familiar with worksheets, coloring pages and puzzles. These kind of activities are used every day in the school setting so incorporating anger management lessons into these activities makes sense. These worksheets can be made fun and interesting. These worksheets can teach techniques and strategies for controlling anger in such a way that children will comprehend and react to. Using well-known situations in coloring pages or related words in puzzles may help a child to deal with anger issues without making the situation complicated. 


Children love playing games. In addition to using worksheets, it might be helpful to include games into a children's anger management program. Designing activities that include role-playing may help children to realize that they can not always be the center of attention. Anger management for children can be taught in all sorts of ways that will be both productive as well as enjoyable.


Listing different possibilities for their Anger and having them read over them to see which statements apply to them might be beneficial in treating kids with anger issues. Simple sentences, using everyday dilemmas that a child may encounter could be used in these anger management worksheets. Children may not even realize the reason for these worksheets yet they may be providing relevant information that can help in treatment of the problem.. 





A Simple Anger Management Plan


Anger management plans are developed to offer a person a plan of action when a stressful or confrontational situation arises. When the individual experiences signs of negative emotions and angry thoughts, an anger management lesson plan is meant to provide tools to decrease or control their temper. Anger management lesson plans can be designed to be individual, once a person finds techniques or adopts skills that work for them. 


Becoming conscious of what makes you angry is the first step. Writing down these thoughts might help you to decide how to proceed in a positive way rather than lash out. 


The second step necessary is to practice self-control. When opposition arises it is essential to stop, take a minute and think the situation through. This gives you an opportunity to think about your usual response without actually acting on it. 


After you think about your probable reaction, it is then essential to think about the potential fallout from each reaction. Thinking things through can permit you to consider reasonable ways of dealing with the situation besides becoming hot-tempered. 


The fourth step in this anger management lesson is the decision making step. Considering the options for reactions, now you must decide which one that is likely to work or be effective. Of course then it's time to act on this decision. 


When you have followed through with these four steps, it is then necessary to evaluate your process. This step in the anger management lesson plan allows time to think over the entire situation to discern whether the result was a positive one.


Working through anger management plans such as this one may be easy to carry out when you are in a calm state of mind. The true test comes when these steps are put into action when you are angry and experiencing negative thoughts and emotions. The only way to ensure these anger management lesson plans work is to practice them over and over again. 





Anger Management


Anger is an emotion experienced by everyone. Nevertheless anger can be considered too intense. Anger can be an awfully destructive emotion if it isn't controlled. Controlling anger is considered anger management. It is essential to manage your anger so it does not become harmful either to yourself or others.


The initial step to controlling anger issues it to acknowledge there is a problem. If a person continues down a course where they are always angry and acting out, it will ultimately cause major problems. Lacking anger management this person will likely experience loss of their family, loss of their job and loss of their own identity.


Anger management is not intended to be a chastisement but rather to assist a person to have a better quality of life. Anger management is intended to assist the individual work out their problems, help them figure out why they become so heated. It also teaches the person not to be imprisoned by their emotions, their anger. Anger management is meant to educate the person in techniques that prevent them from getting angry as often or for very long. 


There are programs formed expressly to assist those with anger issues. These programs are broken down to deal with different people - kids, teens, adults, couples and families. These anger management programs are in place to teach or assist people to work on their anger. Educating people on strategies for working out their problems and controlling their anger are important in anger management


Anger may be a healthy, common emotion but when the anger takes over an individual's life making them destructive and aggressive, it's a big problem. Not only does the anger destroy the person but it also impacts everybody and everything around him or her. Anger management can change this individual and guarantee a healthy, normal life





Become A Leader


Contrary to what most people believe, leadership is not about power. It is not about harassing people or driving them using fear. It is about encouraging others towards the goal of the organization. It is putting everyone on the same page and helping him or her see the big picture of the organization. You must be a leader not a boss.


People follow others when they see a clear sense of purpose. People will only follow you if they see that you know where you are going. If you yourself do not know where you're headed to, chances are people will not follow you.


Being a leader is not about what you make others do. It's about who you are, what you know, and what you do. You are a reflection of what you're subordinates must be.


Studies have shown that one other bases of good leadership are the trust and confidence your subordinates have of you. Trust and confidence is built on good relationships, trustworthiness, and high ethics.


Once you have their trust and confidence, you may now proceed to communicate the goals and objectives you are to undertake.


Communication is a very important key to good leadership. The knowledge and technical expertise you have must be clearly imparted to other people. You must be able to assess situations, weigh the pros and cons of any decision, and actively seek out a solution.


Leaders are not do-it-all heroes. You should not claim to know everything, and you should not rely upon your skills alone. You should recognize the skills and talents your subordinates have. Only when you come to this realization will you be able to work as one cohesive unit.


Remember being a leader takes a good deal of work and time. It is not learned overnight.  





Build Your Self Esteem


So how do you keep up your self-esteem in a hard-hitting atmosphere? It seems like everywhere you turn.  The best way is to know the kinds of people and situations that will bring you down and thwart your efforts to stay focused.  Here we will focus on some of these people and situations you need to avoid if possible.  


* Negative Work Environment - Beware of the "dog eat dog" theory where each person is fighting just to get ahead. Competition is everyplace. Make sure it is a fair competition.


* Other People's Behavior - gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders... all these kinds of people will create awful feelings for you 


* Changing Environment - Changes challenge our paradigms. Change will be there forever you can't avoid this one, but can learn to deal with it. 


* Past Experience - Don't let pain change into fear. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson. 


* Negative World View - Don't wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self-esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.


* Identity - You have your own identity. If your parent is a failure, it doesn't signify you have to be a failure as well. Learn from other people's experience, so you'll never have to encounter the same mistakes. 


You can't always avoid or even change a situation.  And you certainly aren't going to have much luck changing a person.  You can, however, learn how to avoid such situations and people and deal effectively with those you can't avoid.


Just putting the above advice into action in your life, you will see your self-esteem grab hold and start to climb. Before long, you will instinctively begin to know when a situation is bad for your self-esteem






Building Effective Relationships

 

Society is defined as a web of associations, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achieve a common goal. Having a relationship that is good, where cooperation and respect are manifested, can make society work better. In this way every member works for the good of the whole. This can only be attained with effective and efficient relationships.

 

The easiest way to appreciate what is significant to another party is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say. Effective relationships require parties to openly convey their feelings and positions on all matters important to the relationship. 


In order to build a more effective relationship, parties must treat each other with respect.  We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying genuinely to comprehend how they function. This also means respecting yourself.


One more key area in forming an effective relationship is to tackle differences of the other party openly. Work towards a win-win solution for both parties. Developing an atmosphere where the other party can express their feelings when they need to.


Parties should be aware that certain things exist naturally but should be controlled in any dealings in any relationship.  Human nature is one. Some of these things found in a relationship also include a history of stereotyping or mistrust, blaming the other person or party for a strained relationship, excluding the other party's feelings when focusing on a task, no clear and defined objectives, roles and expectations of each party in a relationship is also unclear.


Relationships are important to anyone, addressing issues and problems right away is a must to further improve the relationship. As they say 'No man is an Island'. Working together works for the whole - and that is what is most important. 





Conflicts Can Be Eliminated


*DISTINGUISH FACTS FROM FICTION. 

 

When we disagree with someone, we frequently get worked up over not just the incident that happened, but the judgments we made about the situation and the person, the feelings that were evoked in us and the story we make up about what it all means. Take ownership for your own feelings. The other person didn't "make you feel" a particular way. They did what they did. You chose to feel the way you did. 


*DISTINGUISH MOTIVE AND EMOTIONS 


We often assume we know what the other person was intending to do 'to us'. The only thing we really know is the reaction we had to the other person's behavior. Recognize that they may not have 'meant' to disrespect (or hurt, or ignore or control) you. Also recognize that if you are the perpetrator, just because your motive was innocent, that doesn't negate the feelings the other person experienced. 


*CONVERT COMPLAINTS TO REQUESTS 


Imagine that any complaint (yours or another's) is really a request in disguise. Next time you catch yourself complaining, stop then ask for it! Make the request to someone who has the power to grant it. Complaining or making requests to anyone else won't get your problem solved. 


*START WHERE YOU ARE 


Open the dialog with "I'd like to say something, but I'm afraid that I'll... or you'll..." You'll be surprised at the impact that sharing your vulnerability will have on the receptivity of the other person. You'll also be surprised at how easily the important message will now come out. 


*TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTION, ROLE OR INFLUENCE. 


Recognize that you may have something to do with the continued existence of the problem.  Figure out what actions you can take to solve your own dilemma. 


*FORGIVE AND GIVE YOURSELF A GIFT.


Forgiveness is not condoning or even accepting. Forgiving someone in your heart who has 'wronged' you, just releases your agony. It does nothing for them. 


Creative Problem Solving 


First of all, in the light of creative problem solving, you must be open-minded to the fact that there may be more than one solution to the problem. And, you must be open to the fact that there may be solutions to problems you thought were unsolvable.


Try to understand the problem and have a solid understanding of it. If you know how it works, then you have a better foundation towards solving the problem.


Try to take note of all of the constraints and assumptions you have. Sometimes it is these assumptions that impede our view of possible solutions. You have to identify which assumptions are valid, in which assumptions need to be addressed.


Keep a creative, logical voice at the back of your head. When someone comes up with a prospective solution, try to think how you might make that solution work. Try to be creative. At the same time, look for chinks in the armor of that resolution.


It pays to remember that there may be more than just one solution being developed at one time. Try to keep track of all the solutions and their developments. Remember, there may be more than just one solution to the problem.


Always be open to new ideas. It can only be to your advantage to listen to all the ideas each person has. This is particularly correct when the person you are talking to has had experience solving problems comparable to yours. You don't have to be a gung-ho, solo hero to solve the problem. If you can arrange group reflection on the subject, it would be much better.


Be patient. As long as you keep at it, there is always a probability that a solution will present itself. Remember that no one was able to create an invention the first time around. 


Developing Your Intuition


Intuition is something we all have.  It is that small feeling inside that so often leads us to the correct choice.  Below are ways to help you learn to hear yours:


* Hypnosis - Perform self-hypnosis or you can avail of hypnotic programs that can strengthen your intuition.


*Meditation - Meditating means finding peace within. If your mind and heart are cluttered with a lot of baggage, you won't be able to quiet down that part of you that can initiate intuition. There are so many ways to meditate: take a yoga class, or just simply practice some breathing that could bring you straight to Zen.


* Think positive - By staying positive, you attract good energy that would be able to easily recognize imminent feelings and events.


*Just let go - Let go of all your inhibitions and head to a quiet place where you can find out where the letting go has brought you. Sometimes you just have to listen to the voice within you, and that voice wouldn't come out unless you let go.


*Never expect - After letting go of your inhibitions and all those little things that prevent you from thinking and feeling clearly, by no means expect an answer right away. Give it a little time.


*Trust your first impressions. - When you see someone for the first time and think that he is a bit too arrogant for your taste, chances are that impression actually holds true. Most of the time, first impressions are brought by intuition.



Intuition is helpful, because every now and then it leads you to something that cannot be achieved otherwise. A lot of lives have been saved by intuition alone. Decisions are easier made if armed by this gift. Expand your intuition now and harvest benefits you have never imagined. 


Easy Anger Management Skills


For the person who is dealing daily with anger problems, it is important to learn skills that will be effective in coping.  Below I will cover three skills that may help in this cause.  Not all strategies work for all people, so it is necessary to try until you find one that works for you.


*Acupressure. Tapping or rubbing the body achieves this technique. Briskly massaging your body when feeling tense and upset causes an individual's energy to move around their body, which results in relaxation. It is very difficult to remain angry when your body is relaxed.


* Keep a journal. When an individual writes about the situations that upset them, it helps to get the negative thoughts and emotions out of their head. By journaling about feelings and emotions, a person is able to rid their minds of unhealthy thinking and put them on paper. Keep track of what caused the anger, how your body reacted and what you did.  You might further cover alternative ways you could have dealt with the situation.  Next time try using the alternative method.


*Remove yourself from the situation.. If a person realizes they have difficulties controlling their temper, they might consider staying away from situations that may cause heated arguments. If a person has a regular pattern of lashing out during specific situations, avoiding the situation altogether should work. Some situations and people just tend to get you going.  Avoiding them if at all possible takes away the negative emotion that comes with it.

There are so many methods available for learning to control excessive anger.  A person who recognizes they have such a problem can choose from so many there is bound to be at least one method that fits their personality.  In the long run, taking this time, making this effort, will result in a much happier life for all involved. 


Eight Necessary Questions for Self-Improvement


What do I really want?

Take time to figure out what you want to do with your life.  Find something you enjoy doing and stick with it until you are at your greatest ability. Be the you that you want to be.


Should I really change?

Asking yourself this will help you decide if you are already doing something that you do well and enjoy.  Maybe you just aren't concentrating on an area of your life that you'd like to see grow.


What's the bright side in all of this?

With so much is happening around us there seem to be no room for even considering that light at the end of the tunnel. And if it's a train at the end of the tunnel, take it for a ride and see what makes the world go round!


Am I comfortable with what I'm doing?

There's always the simple way and the correct way when it comes to deciding what goes with which shoes, or purse, shirt and whatnot. It doesn't take a whiz kid to perceive yourself as someone exceptional. 


Have I done enough for myself?

Unhappiness in each phase can be hazardous in huge doses, but in tiny amounts you'll be able to see and do stuff you could never imagine doing.


Am I happy at where I am today?

If the answer is yes, then grab onto this and become the best you can be.  


How much could I have?

I assume in this case there is no such thing as having too much or too little, but it's more on how much you actually require it. 


What motivates me?

What motivates you? It's an answer you have to discover for yourself. There are so many things that can make everybody content, but to decide on one may be the hardest part. 


Keeping a Positive Attitude



Any person can be capable of having a positive attitude when things are going well. What if truth is told matters more is how you do something when things are going poorly. That is what determines the strength of your moral fiber. An appropriate attitude means feeling optimistic in difficult times. Add up your blessings. Look for the good. Below are six simple yet effective ways to create a positive attitude.


Choose to be Enthusiastic  - Think enthusiastically. Talk excitedly. Become passionate by acting passionate. Your thoughts and actions set up your level of enthusiasm. 


Think like Tigger - Walk quickly. Place a bounce in your step. A vigorous, hearty handshake indicates you are glad to be alive and happy to be with the other person. A good smile radiates interest. Force yourself to act with enthusiasm, and soon you will feel enthusiastic. 


Bring Good News - No one ever made a friend or accomplished something meaningful by transmitting bad news. Good news, on the other hand, promotes good will and spreads enthusiasm. Always aim to make the person you talk to feel better than they otherwise would. 


Visualize - All peak performers visualize success. Before you try to do anything, close your eyes and visualize yourself doing it well. 


Talk to Yourself - What did you say to yourself today? Did you moan and groan about everyone. What we think is 100% reflected in how we feel. If all we think about is negative thoughts, our actions will be negative. 


Love Others - Bring encouragement, optimism, and hope to all that you meet. Help others feel comfortable in your presence. Spread joy and goodwill. Be concerned about the wishes and desires of others. Be understanding, caring, accepting, and forgiving. Become more concerned about helping others achieve their individual desires. 


Growing Spiritually


Spiritual growth in a world defined by power, money, and influence is a formidable task. Our concepts of self-worth and self-meaning are mixed-up. How can we strike a balance between the material and spiritual aspects of our lives? 


To grow spiritually is to look inward. You need to examine and reflect on your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and motivations. Periodically examining your experiences, the decisions you make, the relationships you have, and the things you engage in gives insight on your life goals, on the good traits you should uphold and the bad traits you have to abandon. 


To grow spiritually is to develop your potentials. The needs of the body are recognized but placed under the needs of the spirit. Beliefs, values, morality, rules, experiences, and good works provide the outline to make sure the growth of the spiritual being continues. When you have fulfilled the basic physiological and emotional needs, spiritual or existential needs come next. 


To grow spiritually is to seek meaning. Whether we think that life's significance is pre-determined or self-directed, to grow in spirit is to understand that we do not simply exist. We do not know the meaning of our lives at birth; but we gain knowledge and wisdom from our connections with people and from our actions and reactions to the situations we are in. Our lives have purpose. This purpose puts all our physical, emotional, and intellectual potentials into use; sustains us during trying times; and gives us something to look forward to---a goal to achieve, a destination to reach. 


To grow spiritually is to recognize interconnections. Recognizing your link to all things makes you more modest and respectful of people, animals, plants, and things in nature. It makes you value all around you. It moves you to go beyond your comfort zone and reach out to other people, and become stewards of all other things around you. 


Handle Your Anger 


Anger, while a healthy and normal reaction to disturbing situations, can be extreme to the point of violence. When a person experiences habitual episodes of angry or reckless behavior, there's a problem, one that must be dealt with. Anger management strategies are designed to help an individual return to a healthy, normal life. 


Taking a time-out is considered a healthy management approach. Removing oneself from a place or person that makes a person angry is practicing time-out. Go for a walk or leisurely drive.  Sometimes a physical activity such as running or playing sports helps release the built up energy.  As your energy dissipates, so does the anger.


A second healthy anger management strategy is, owning up to the anger. The anger actually belongs to the distressed person. Only the person who's experiencing the anger issues can control their outbursts. When we are angry, our bodies react strongly-heart rate increases, muscles tighten and all body systems need to work harder.  In the end, the person anger hurts the most is the one experiencing it.


Another healthy anger management strategy is to look back on those situations that troubled an individual and try to uncover ways to make changes. Not only may the person learn to evade these incidents but they may also decide to take what they've learned and try to deal with it without bursting into frenzy.


A fourth healthy management strategy is to confront the situation or person. Talk to the person or people involved calmly and try to resolve the cause of the problem. Often matters can be quickly worked out to the satisfaction of both parties involved.  If they can't, it may be worth just walking away and deciding to agree to disagree.


Anger serves a purpose in our lives but don't allow excessive anger destroy yours.  


Healing Energy Explained


Chakra or energy center is a term used in Pranic healing, an ancient Hindu system of energy healing. "Prana" means life energy. "Aura" is another terminology traced to Pranic healing. Aura is a non-physical body that consists of energy, which exists along with our physical body. The aura that covers our body is said to have seven layers pertaining to the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects of an individual as manifested by energy.


Studying the color and thickness of auras gives ideas on the state of health of individuals. Six colors are associated with aura and interpreted into six personalities. These colors are all present in an individual but one or two are more pronounced.


Tantra is another system of energy healing. It comes from the word "tan" which means to spread or expand. The notion of connectedness is a returning theme in Tantric writings on spirituality. As a method of healing, spirituality and sex figure prominently. It is thought that the joining together of man and woman can reach spiritual levels during orgasm, which removes the body and mind of collected impurity. 


Unlike Pranic and Tantric healings, which have Hindu origins, Reiki originated in Japan. It is newer than Pranic and Tantric healings. Reiki represents universal energy, an energy brought forth by higher intelligence. Students of Reiki are taught how to tap this energy to heal physical, emotional, and mental illnesses.


Although Pranic, Tantra, and Reiki are all systems of energy healing, they differ in the type of energy tapped for healing: life energy, sexual energy, and universal energy respectively. 


The concept of the between mind, body, and spirit; the connection of individuals to all living and nonliving things around them and to the universe; and how energy impacts physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being are some of the main similarities of these three healing methods. 





How To Be Happy


Is there some secret that those who always seem happy are hiding?  Not at all.  They just have a way of turning negative into positive.  Below are a few ways you to can start bringing more happiness and less negativity into your life.


*Take care of yourself physically. It's much easier to be optimistic when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.


*Be thankful. Stresses and challenges don't seem as terrible when you remind yourself of the things that are right in life. 


* Don't Assume. Don't waste time worrying that you did something incorrect unless you have evidence that there is something to worry about.


* Don't use absolutes. Thinking and talking in absolutes like 'always' and 'never' makes the situation appear worse than it is.


*Think positively. Your thoughts can't hold any power over you if you don't judge them. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, witness it, and don't follow it.


*Get and give hugs. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. 


*Increase your social activity. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way!


*Volunteer. Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.


*Don't dwell on the negative. It's never productive, because it's not rational or solution-oriented; it's just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment - go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music. 


Practice does indeed make perfect.  Before long, the above traits will become automatic. You will look back and realize how far you have come.  You will have become one of the ones people look to for the "secret" of happiness.





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